15 Antidotes When You Feel Stuck
Feeling like you’re sliding backwards?
Have you felt, or are you feeling that no matter what you do, it seems as though your life (personal or professional, or both) is not moving forward at all, or is inching forward in minuscule steps, or is even sliding backwards uncontrollably, spiraling downwards, and is just not going where you wanted it to?
We have all experienced these feelings at different times in life. It’s part of being human. The feelings come personally and professionally for many many different reasons, and when they arrive you can feel overwhelmed with frustration and distraction, and life becomes harder than ever before to motivate yourself.
Well, if this is you today, may this encourage and inspire you. Here are 15 antidotes to help you release your wheels and find your way forward again.
You’re not that special! What? (You are really very special.) However, let’s unpack this for a moment. Life did not pick you out of the 7.7 billion people on the planet to be the only one to be stuck. Nope, we have it on good authority that you are still moving forward. This is a season you are experiencing for a reason, it’s just not clear to you at the moment why. Trust that you will come out of this.
Find some humor. Find something that makes you curl that mouth into a smile. If our first attempt to make you smile didn’t work we’re ok with that, but we know there is something that does make you smile. Go home and watch a comedy, find a joke that just makes you dissolve, think of a time where you were laughing so hard your sides ached. When you laugh you release endorphins, the kind of chemicals that make you feel good naturally. They lift your spirits. You also light up the world when you smile and laugh and other people notice and can feel that shift. It’s contagious - in the good sense.
It’s ok to feel this way. Don’t beat yourself up. Go gently with the self talk and ease up on it. When you notice you’ve said something really sharp to yourself, find a way to soothe those words by asking questions as if you were talking to your closest friend, and you could see they were in pain. How would you support and encourage them?
Release the idea of having to justify the feelings you’re feeling. Just let them be. It’s ok to feel whatever you are feeling - anger, frustration, sadness, humiliation, loss, anxiety, grief, turmoil - all of them and more - all ok. In fact, just surrender into feeling that way. Say to yourself, “Ok, fine, I give up, I feel ______.” Own it, and name it. Feeling these emotions doesn’t mean you’re turning into a bad person, or life is now going to exit you down a swimming pool chute faster than you can say go. All you are doing is giving yourself permission to acknowledge the emotion and release it. Its grip on you will diminish and release.
Remind yourself that while this feels like an eternal black hole you’ve been sucked into, it’s not. This season will pass, this moment will pass. You are moving forward even if it doesn’t feel like it.
No more comparisons. Give that up for now. Comparison drives us to distraction. Put your comparisons on hold, on the shelf, no need for that. Comparing yourself to colleagues, friends, family members, strangers, other businesses, assessing the competition, figuring out where you fit, is 100% useless. Have you ever seen an Olympic sprinter complete a race while looking over their shoulder the whole time or looking from side to side for the entire race? Neither have we, so let go of comparison.
Recognize that your mind and your thoughts can have incredible power over you. Even if it’s an external circumstance putting pressure on you notice how much your own thoughts put even more pressure on you. Let go of that. Ease up.
You are doing your best. This is where you are at and you’re doing what you’re able to do right now. That’s ok. You can also have an honest conversation with yourself, if you discover you’re not doing or giving your best, ask yourself if you’d be willing to show up in a new way - not for anyone else, but just for you.if you’re not, that’s ok too. Sometimes circumstances mean we just can’t and so rest into that. It will gently pass in time.
Give yourself time to wallow. Yep, we said it. Just decide that for a period of time you are going to grieve, rant and rave, complain, cry, shout, stay in bed, eat, whatever your method for wallowing is, give yourself time to do that and then say, “ok, enough now, let’s move onward.”
Find one word, or one image that you notice just lifts you a little bit. You feel lighter, you feel brighter, you feel hopeful in a way that is personal to you. We all have words or images that feel better in some way, explore what works for you. Try saying “bubbles” really angrily.. we don’t think you’ll be able to say it without breaking a smile at the end. As you search remember that you are not analyzing, just look for instinctive images or words that create a mini lift and feel good. Your brain only needs one or two triggers to re-engage and ignite the synapses of positive paths to remember that feeling good is natural and can happen.
Go on a news and social media hiatus for a bit. The news is full of intensity, with huge amounts of emotion. Social media can intensify and amplify emotions rapidly too. While you’re at it why not unsubscribe from a few email lists too. It’s completely liberating in a strange sort of a way. Give yourself a break from it all. You won’t lose track of life, you won’t lose your intelligence, miss out, or come across as unworldly. This is not about how you come across to other people, this is about putting yourself first and taking care of you. You’re not saying you won’t ever look at the news again, or be on social media, or have those emails coming in. You’re just having a rest. Ahh now doesn’t that feel blissful.
Write it out. Take a notebook, journal, blank sheet of paper - when you’re feeling stuck you are not going to want to do this, you’ll resist, resist, resist, but…. this is a very powerful tool. Start downloading words, with a pen to paper, and just write. It doesn’t need to make sense, it doesn’t even need to be perfect grammar. Just write. As you write you are releasing and your brain will start responding in kind, as will all the cells in your entire body. People who do this report they feel lighter, more hopeful, and even motivated. Give it a whirl - you have nothing to lose.
Forgive yourself. This is not an easy one for many of us. We are often really hard on ourselves and hold ourselves to the highest (and often impossible) standards above anyone else. Stand in front of a mirror and say “I forgive you.” The way it feels will tell you whether you are able to or not. If you can’t say it or it just feels like it’s too much, don’t worry. Say to yourself “I’m willing to consider I will find a way and learn how to forgive myself.”. Then, move on with your day and release the urge to ruminate about it.
Exercise. As much as you will not want to, exercise is your new best friend. Do this for you. Get walking, get running, get stretching, get moving, get elliptical-ing, pelaton-ing, orclass pass-ing. Whatever your thing has been, once was, or is, get moving. When you move you push toxins out of your body, your create oxygen for your cells, you process subconscious and conscious emotions, your body starts responding, you release, raise your immunity, and inspire yourself.
The bow and arrow. If you are in the throws of feeling like your life and career are going backwards, remember this. When a bow is pulled backwards it’s being prepared to fly forward. Consider that you are being pulled back and held back because there is an amazing experience or opportunity coming your way and you are being prepared for it.
This could be the start of something incredible!
If you find yourself really struggling, please consider finding professional help and support. Sometimes in life things can be too intense and too much for us to cope with on our own. Receiving professional help is available where licensed practitioners, medical professionals and specialists are there to help you. Birch Cove is not a licensed practitioner or medical service, the content shared is from observational or personal experiences we have been through. We wish you well, with compassion, on your journey.